"You don't get to choose what happens to you in this life, but you do get to choose how you respond, and that makes all the difference in the world" - Dalai Lama
Top Tips:
1. Acknowledge challenges, and let them go.
Try to remember, "I am not perfect, nor do I need to be." When entirely normal emotions come up-frustration, stress, anger, fear- remind yourself that no one expects you to be perfect. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is I need to feel and to then let it go.
2. Practice self-growth rather than self-improvement.
Improvement implies that there is something to fix. Rather than attempting to "fix" what's "wrong," focus instead on strengthening what's right. Work toward personal growth rather than some idea of perfection.
3. Watch your language.
You may be so used to criticizing yourself that you don't even realize that you're doing it. So it helps to pay particular attention to the words you use to speak to yourself. If you wouldn't say the same statements to someone you care about, then you're being self-critical.
4. Speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend.
The simplest thing you can do is to imagine what you'd do if someone you cared about came to you after failing or getting rejected. What would you say to that person? How would you treat them? Learn to avoid self-criticism and be kind to yourself
5. Memorize a set of compassionate phrases.
Whenever you find yourself saying, "I'm horrible," it helps to have a few phrases at the ready. Pick statements that really resonate with you.
Do this on-line test to see how self-compassionate you really are.
The CF Psychologists can provide you with support to develop these self-compassion skills. Please contact us to discuss further.